Woo go me, first update in nearly 6 months, wunderbar. Well a bits happened now since my last update, been on holiday, went to London, passed that driving test and worked my arse off inbetween. It's a lovely day so far and all ive done is catch up with sleep... nearly 11 hours, it was great! and I kinda needed it too, done lots of overtime this week and many late nights.

but yeah, so what to do before work tonight, got about 2 and a half hours to spend... which isn't a lot considering i go to work at 6 and COULD have woke up at a late 8 and had hours to spend lol.

Never mind, I'll figure it out.

You're now looking at the Red Lion's newest part time worker =P lol. I'm surprised I got it as they had over 60 applicants for the various jobs on offer but woo =)

I start this friday and then my 2 shifts a week are sunday and tuesdays so if you do pop in and see me, say hi!

Life feels as though it's lacking purpose atm, i'm not sure how to really describe how i'm feeling. I'm getting those pangs again that so many of my friends are off at uni and I miss them all so much, being in a routine where I just get up, go to work, come home and then do nothing until about 11:30 or 12 when I go to sleep, its the same day in day out and it feels hollow, it feels dumb, it makes me feel dumb. I've been thinking back to past times, LJ, memory and the such and it just hits me that although most of my posts seem completely inane with optimism, they promise little. I exude fickleness and I look back and see how I can't stick things through, things get too hard for me and I ALWAYS bury my head in the sand and ignore it as if it's not going to come back and bite me in the arse, I put things off and still put up that happy exterior as if everything is great, but it's little more than fine. I can't talk about my problems easily, i find myself always not knowing why i'm upset or why i'm down so i never come to feel it, I bottle things up and glaze over and forget, the problems never go away they just build and build until one day a certain thing will hit you and the whole lot gets triggered, you're quiet for a week and people sometimes realise, but after time you're still sad but you don't fully know why, the barriers come back up, you appear happy all the time shrugging off questions with 'yeah i'm fine' changing subjects. you feel stuck in a rut where the highlights of your day are taking home a piston head and a german electric fence sign. Nothing fills the lonely hours, no matter what you're doing, you find something funny for a short while but you know its not going to make any difference to your day and will be forgotten within the next 15 minutes. I lack purpose and I seem to lack future, not knowing what i'm doing half the time, I feel left behind.

All my life i've wanted to better myself so I don't have to live with someone i've hated all these years, but I just don't think he's clever enough.

well... news today once again of the total failure of the labour Government:

1,023 foreign prisoners were freed from prison and were not checked up on after they had NOT been considered for deportation

meaning that there are

3 murderers
9 rapists
5 convicted of sex offences on children
7 convicted of other sex offences
57 convicted for violent offences
2 manslaughter
41 burglars
20 drug importers
54 convicted of assault
27 convicted of indecent assault

loose in the country doing as they bloody please because this government can't Get rid of immigrants!!


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4944164.stm

and of course... seeing as this information was released by a party who INSIST that there is NOT a cash crisis in the NHS (being in debt by £800 million).... i reckon you could probably times the total number by between 5 or 6 to get the REAL total amount. think about it people.

April 7th from Wikipedia:

Events:
1943 - First synthesis of LSD, lysergic acid diethylamide, by Albert Hoffman.
1983 - During STS-6, astronauts Story Musgrave and Don Peterson perform the first space shuttle spacewalk
2003 - US troops capture Baghdad; Saddam Hussein's regime falls two days later.

Births:
1939 - Francis Ford Coppola, American film director
1954 - Jackie Chan, Hong Kong actor

Death:
1739 - Dick Turpin, English highwayman (hanged) (b. 1706)

Anyhoo, following this i'd like to say a thankyou to the birthday messages I got from various people by txt and le internet, was very nice of you :)

Had a wonderful day yesterday and had my room suitibly partified in the late afternoon after recieving many great little pressies ^_^

IMPORTANT I'm thinking of doing something on the thursday if anyone is up for it, Xbox bash during the day then more people meet up at mine to go to the pub in the evening?? early ideas, VERY open to suggestions lol :P

leave a comment if you're interested.

Craig.

Had another long dream last night, the first section I can't really remember, but the rest I wrote down this morning when i woke up :) Me, James and Sam were on the tube but it was an outdoor one so it was really light all around, I had a reason for it but I got off the tube 2 stops before the we usually left (this story had some background for some strange reason :P), but I don't remember it now. But I got off the tube and James came with me, and I was leaning on the corner of a wall, as if I was waiting for something, couple of minutes passed and I went back to get James to meet Sam back at the tube stop, But as I turned round, for some reason we were now in Germany... and as dreams do, it didnt seem at all weird, just completely normal. So after walking past a lot of people saying 'Entshuldigung' (excuse me) got to James and Sam and we walked back to the tube stop, which wasnt as we left it, Indoors under a massive glass roof, but completely outdoors, the sun was shining brightly, lots of grass and flower everywhere.

For some reason Me, James and Sam were all wearing white, suits, shirts, ties, shoes... all white, and as we got to the tube it left going the other way, so we had to wait for it go travel where we wanted. It started to rain, so I ran into the entrance of a church which was right next to the tube stop. James and Sam stood outside under a tree, but wht confused me was the little room I was in, was filled with flowers, Bold red roses, lilies and tulips, and sat in the middle of them all, was a young woman dressed in a bridal gown, didn't say a word. I looked out of the door to James and Sam and saw the sun was trying to get through the clouds again, as I turned round I saw the woman had gone, she'd walked into the church and everything was quiet. As I walked out of the entrance to small girls dressed in white handed me two rings and giggle as they pointed to the church... I walked over and kept quiet, peering into the church full of people, the woman kneeling at the end of the isle. The vicar asked (in german still) for the rings and beckoned me forward, it was so strange, so quiet, walking down the isle, red carpet, in the glowing stone church. I handed the rings to the woman and she smiled softly at me, I turned and walked back all I could see was Sam and Matt (James had vanished, didn't seem strange as dreams do for some reason) they were sitting on a wall, under a lot of trees, they were still wearing white, I remember because matt's hair was such a contrast to his clothes.

Then the dream skipped, I was with my dad walk across the road when we walked up to a parked up car, a sky blue Ford GT40, I was walking round it just looking at the car, the driver was a woman in her late 40's, blonde hair and my dad asked if she'd offer me a ride, cos of the car being absolutely brilliant lol, she agreed and we were driving down school lane in the car going about 120, but it felt like it was only going like 30mph, just driving talking about the car, then she parked up next to another sports car and asked if I wanted to drive it, I went (as I do when someone asks me if i'd like to do something) and said a blustered 'oh no, I couldn't'.

Then the dream kinda peterred off, it was really quite strange, and the fact I remembered most of it blimey.

Anyhoo i've been with my dad today at work where I ended up sweeping the walls and the ceiling, spraying weed killer over nearly everything in the caravan compound, before cleaning a load of machinery... but thats about it.

My hair is now really dirty :(

Goodbyeeeeeee!